F of x

3 March 2003
George has decisions to make

[initiate setup]

[...running...]

[initial conditions] Ze has four jobs {j₁, j₂, j₃, j₄}, one bedroom {b}, two degrees {d₁, d₂}, two bank accounts {m₁, m₂}.

[condition of iteration] Ze is currently making life-changing choices. Ze would like to enter higher education, and has applied for a third degree {d₃}. In order to complete d₃, ze requires funding {m₃}.

[input factor] Ze is applying for a higher degree because it is the only thing that ze has ever wanted to do. Ze is aware that, funding or not, it will be a difficult three years but it is hir vocation.

[input factor] Ze has been saving money from {j₁, j₂, j₃, j₄} to put towards m₃. Ze is constantly knackered from working all hours. Ze is also not best pleased about comments made to hir about "getting a proper job"; ze has proper jobs, lots of them, which absord hir time and give hir short nights of sleep.

[input factor] Ze has no fucking idea what ze will do if d₃ doesn't come off. {j₁, j₂} don't pay enough to live off, but are regular; and {j₃, j₄} pay well but are both short-term contracts.

[run progam]

[...running...] Ze applies for d₃.

[...running...] Ze is successful = d₃(1)

[...running...] Ze applies for external funding for m₃.

[...running...] Ze is successful = m₃(e)

[...running...] Ze does higher degree with both external funding and bagful of {m₁, m₂}, has productive and fun three years, and happy and successful life.

[...end program]

[run program]

[...running...] Ze applies for d₃.

[...running...] Ze is successful = d₃(1)

[...running...] Ze applies for external funding for m₃.

[...running...] Ze is unsuccessful = m₃(m₁, m₂)

[...running...] Will ze do d₃? Although {m₁, m₂} is substantial, it is only enough to pay tuition fees and not hir rent, food etc. So ze will have to work in addition to hir studies, probably in some menial McJob somewhere [there are no major employers in zir town, and phenomenally high house prices and rent; this is a commuter town]

[...running...]

[...running...]

[...running...]

[run program]

[...running...] Ze applies for d₃.

[...running...] Ze is unsuccessful = d₃(0)

[...running...] Ze is now left with no idea what to do, but with a bagload of money. Ze could move to Australia, pay off zir debts, leave zir friends and family behind, buy a car....

[...running...]

[...running...]

[...running...]

Current clown:

18 December 2003. George writes: This List

Most recent ten:

15 December 2003. Jamie writes: Seven Songs
11 December 2003. Dan writes: Spinning Jenny
8 December 2003. Victor writes: Rock Opera
4 December 2003. Matt writes: The Mirrored Spheres of Patagonia
1 December 2003. George writes: Charm
27 November 2003. James writes: On Boxing
24 November 2003. Jamie writes: El Matador del Amor; Or, the Man who Killed Love
20 November 2003. Dan writes: Rights Management
17 November 2003. Victor writes: Walking on Yellow
13 November 2003. Matt writes: Disintermediation
(And alas we lost Neil, who last wrote Cockfosters)

Also by this clown:

1 December 2003. George writes: Charm
10 November 2003. George writes: Dead beat
20 October 2003. George writes: Shortening
29 September 2003. George writes: Manhattanites are Cleavage-Starved
11 September 2003. George writes: How to Bring Us in Line With the Future
18 August 2003. George writes: Slashtastic
28 July 2003. George writes: Underground Independent Small Press Comic Fight Club
7 July 2003. George writes: Careering
16 June 2003. George writes: Choose your own adventure
26 May 2003. George writes: Revelations
8 May 2003. George writes: Picture Perfect
14 April 2003. George writes: MetaPirate
24 March 2003. George writes: Preparation X
3 March 2003. George writes: F of x
13 February 2003. George writes: Three is the magic number
23 January 2003. George writes: Recorded Delivery
30 December 2002. George writes: Meat Bingo or Death
12 December 2002. George writes: Royal Inquisitor
21 November 2002. George writes: This Clown is Cancelled
28 October 2002. George writes: Shopping with God
3 October 2002. George writes: SaferSpoony
16 September 2002. George writes: Supercalanthropomorphicexpealidocious
26 August 2002. George writes: The deformed animal menagerie
5 August 2002. George writes: Plaice that Funky Music, Whitebait
15 July 2002. George writes: Safe as Houses
24 June 2002. George writes: Two Lions (DB/DS)
30 May 2002. George writes: Series 8
9 May 2002. George writes: Market Stall
11 April 2002. George writes: I, the Enlargened, Crunchy Product
18 March 2002. George writes: Cakexterminator
21 February 2002. George writes: Fiction Suit
28 January 2002. George writes: Spunk Gunk
31 December 2001. George writes: Fairytale of New Pork
10 December 2001. George writes: Circular
15 November 2001. George writes: A Man With No Ass Is No Man At All
22 October 2001. George writes: One Night in Heaven
27 September 2001. George writes: Uncut
3 September 2001. George writes: Porn Pants
9 August 2001. George writes: Names of the Roses
19 July 2001. George writes: No Fun Here
21 June 2001. George writes: All Your Elections are Belong to Us
28 May 2001. George writes: Pierced as Fuck
3 May 2001. George writes: My Lovely Horse
9 April 2001. George writes: Eight Hundred and Forty-Three
12 March 2001. George writes: Kill 'Em All
19 February 2001. George writes: Formal
25 January 2001. George writes: Sticks and stones
11 January 2001. George writes: A Thought on Morality
11 December 2000. George writes: You can't put that into a soufflé
13 November 2000. George writes: Lyrical Genius
19 October 2000. George writes: Wet wet wet wet wet
25 September 2000. George writes: Built on an Indian burial ground
31 August 2000. George writes: This Way
31 July 2000. George writes: Runt of the Litter

We are all Upsideclown: Dan, George, James, Jamie, Matt, Neil, Victor.

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